Stockholm syndrome

*Driving home with a former athlete*
"Are we in Hartford?" - Athlete
"No, Waterbury." - Me
"Oh, ok. I just didn't recognize where we were and thought you were trying to kidnap me like you always promise." - Athlete
"I'd feed you pizza." - Me
"What kind?" - Athlete
"Pepperoni." - Me
"You might as well kill me now." - Athlete

Closeness

"Oh my god, I have to pee." - Athlete 1
"Me too! We can go together. And hold hands" - Athlete 2
"We are NOT holding hands while we pee. That should be like, illegal, or something." - Athlete 1

Appearances can be deceiving

"Hey KA, look! It looks like I do sports! It's funny because I don't do sports..." - Athlete to another
"Because you're a cheerleader." - Me

Electives

"What's wrong with singing in a high pitched voice?" - Athlete 1
"Only when my sister does it." - Athlete 2
"Ok good, because I'm a high soprano." - Athlete 1
"I don't know what that means." - Athlete 2
"It means I hit the really high notes." - Athlete 1
"Well I took art." - Athlete 2

TMI

"By the way. M and I are in a complicated relationship." - Athlete
"Orly?" - Me
"Yeah. And then classic M. He asked me if I'd considered going into the porn industry. Which he totally meant as a compliment. He has a strange way of saying things. You have to speak his language." - Athlete
"Oh trust me, I hung out with boys starting in middle school. I speak it fluently." - Me
"Apparently I have a certain skill set haha." - Athlete
"AGH!! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!" - Me

Warfare

"Well if you did X, you wouldn't hurt." - Me
"Ooh, K, dropping some logic bombs on us. Got that B-52!" - Athlete

Football bonding

"J, is it just you and me in the car home?" - Athlete 1
"Yes." - Athlete 2
"Can we blast homosexual songs?" - Athlete 1
"Yes." - Athlete 2

GCBs

"If she says anything else to you just say 'I'll pray for you.'" - Coach to athlete at halftime

To infinity and beyond

"It's like when you want to be an astronaut and Buzz Aldrin offers to hang out with you. You are my Buzz Aldrin." - Athlete on my offer to let her shadow me.