Rules of Softball

"K, we're softball players. We don't RUN!"

Spontaneous

"Is it here?" - Me, using the churro on her hamstring
"Yeah." - Female Athlete
"I can feel it." - Me
"Caaaalling in the air toniiiiiiight." - Male Athlete
"Hahahahahaha!!" - Me and female athlete

Guest Post by EM

athlete: "will you peel my orange please?"
me: "um, no. why can't you peel your own orange?"
athlete: "my fingers hurt...."
me: "sounds like a personal problem, find a freshman"
athlete: "PLEEEEASE peel my orange?"
me: "no"
athlete: "peel my orange!"
me: "once more, no!"
athlete: "ok..."

Baseball Catchers

"K, do you own orange nail polish?" - Catcher 1
"I went to Oregon State. Of course I own orange nail polish." - Me
"Can you bring it for me?" - Catcher 1
"Uh, why?" - Me
"I want to paint my finger nails." - Catcher 1
"Uh, why?" - Me
"So the pitcher can see my hands when I call." - Catcher 1
"Oh, sure. I'll bring it tomorrow." - Me
"What are you bringing tomorrow?" - Catcher 2
"Nail polish so he can paint his nails." - Me
"OOH!! Can I use it too?!?!" - Catcher 2

Best Treatment Ever

"It's times like this that I really wish I could just fix all of you with hugs." - Me
"That would be so cool! Especially when my hip starts hurting, I'd just be like..."*mimes getting hugged* - Athlete
"Haha yep. My office would clear out so quickly." - Me

Nearby Towns

"Why is it that every town around us is full of scum bags? I don't think WH is scum bags, just annoying."

Timing

"Let the torture continue!" - Me, working on the shoulder of Athlete 1
"I have handcuffs!" - Athlete 2, holding up the discarded flexi-wrap from his shoulder which he had fashioned into handcuffs
"Hahahahaha!" - Me
"She's doing it again. Why does she always laugh at us? - Athlete 2

Lacrosse Mom Guest Post

"We went to a lacrosse game and a hockey game broke out."

Said after one of the opposing team's players threw his lacrosse stick at one of our players.

Icing

"You need to ice!" - Me
"I have to go to karate class." - Athlete
"Yes, but if you don't ice now you won't later. I'll sick (mutual friend) A on you!" - Me
"Yeah, and she's closer to my shins. This class is going to suck." - Athlete

MySpace

"Kelly, what's MySpace?" - Athlete 1
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" - Me
"She always laughs at the things we say and do, and we don't understand why." - Athlete 2 to 1

Generation Gap

"K, how was your weekend?" - Athlete
"Oh, I bought the Alien movie anthology on Blu Ray." - Me
"Alien?" - Athlete
"You know, Alien, Aliens, 'They mostly come at night,' face suckers, bursting through the chest...aliens." - Me
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Is that from the 80s?" - Athlete
*shows athlete picture of an alien* "These guys!" - Me
"Ohhhhh! You mean the aliens from 'Alien vs. Predator'! Why didn't you just say so?" - Athlete

Vegetarianism

"K, I don't eat meat. I'm a vegetarian." - B
"B, you eat chicken. Chicken is meat." - Me
"Yeah, but it's not red meat." - B
If you eat any kind of meat, you're not a vegetarian." - Me
"Yes I am. I'm ovo-lacto-vegetarian." - B
"HAHAHAHAHA!! Do you even know what that means?" - Me

Body Parts

"K, I hate my groin. It sucks. I wish I didn't have one." - One of my players while I was stretching him out