Where's the singing?

*Athlete stomps into my office dripping wet from the rain outside and glares at me*
"You're so pretty." - Me

The best day of her life

"Ah! Shit, shoot!" - Athlete, hitting her head on the door handle

TMI

"GLOSSING!" - Me

All ages

*seen at a boys' basketball tournament*
"Do you wanna build a snoooowmaaaaan? Do you wanna come and plaaaaay?!" - Athlete skipping and singing across the court

Now where's Leo?

*Lacrosse girls carrying jug of water out from my office*
"Ugh, it's like the Titanic all over again!" - Athlete
"Only hopefully less casualties this time." - Me
"YES!" - Both Athletes in unison

Mexican Standoff

*ATS has been playing with my notepad for the last five minutes*
"GIVE IT BACK!" - Me
"NO!" - ATS
"I'LL SNEEZE ALL OVER YOU!" - Me
"SO?!" - ATS
"YOU'LL HAVE MY BOOGERS ALL OVER YOU!" - Me

Stuck between

"I need food." - Me
"A's bringing me a wrap." - Athlete 1
"Sweet." - Me
"So if it's gross guess who gets it." - Athlete 1
"Me!" - Athlete 2
"Dude, rock *points to Athlete 2*, hard place *points to myself*, YOU *points to him in between us*." - Me

Put some effort into it

"*burp*" - Male Athlete
"That was weak." - Me
"Yep." - Female Athlete
"BUUUUUUURRRRRRP*" - Male Athlete
"Much better." - Me

Lost little lambs

*walking into football meeting*
"You guys causing trouble?" - Me
"Of course." - Athlete 1
"Just looking for a coach, as always." - Athlete 2

Faster than the speed of thought

"What's the score?" - Athlete, standing directly in front of me
"2-2." - Me
"Wait, what's the score?" - Athlete
"I just said it." - Me
"Yeah, I asked, and then you answered, and then I asked again before I had thought it through. I talk faster than I can think." - Athlete

Champions

"Did you know lacrosse heads used to have spikes on the end?" - Athlete
"Really?!" - Me
"Yeah, they used to stab each other in the ribs with them." - Athlete
"That's awesome! So it was like the Hunger Games?" - Me
"Pretty much, but with slaves." - Athlete
"Sweet! The Hunger Games and Gladiator combined! Why did we change it?!" - Me

No ginger jokes

"The fire in his hair will keep him warm." - athlete to another about her boyfriend

Pimp my ride?

Something I never thought I'd have to say:

"G, I do not need spinners on my golf cart!"

Not even a contest

Supersized

*While having a conversation about McDonald's*
"My grandpa's diet used to consist entirely of their apple pies and strawberry milkshakes." - Athlete
"Really? That sounds horrid." - Me
"Nah, he was lovin' it." - Athlete
"Pun intended?" - Me
*Athlete bows head in shame*