Beaver Believer

"Where were you before?" - Athlete
"Oregon." - Me
"Quack." - Athlete
"Did you just say quack?" - Me
"Yeah, Oregon Ducks." - Athlete
"Get out." - Me

Thoughts on the Remodel

"Oh, you got new tables. I hope I pass out so I can lay on one." - Athlete

So Close...

"And with that, we're done." - Me
"You mean we're actually going home?" - AT Student
"And before 9 pm too." - Me
"Wow..." - AT Student
"Well it's because I want to see my husband." - Me
"Oh, thank God for your husband coming home!" - AT Student

No Stranger Danger Here

"Should I keep this information from the training on how to not molest children?" - Me
"Nah. I think you're good." - Athletic Training Student
"Yeah?" - Me
"Yeah, I'm not at all worried." - AT Student

You can tell they miss me

*while stretching a former player's groin*
"I think I might fart." - Athlete
"HAHAHAHA!!!" - Me
"Is that blog worthy?" - Athlete

It rubs the lotion on its skin...

"Hey, what's up?" - Me
"I just came in to get lotion." - Athlete
"Okay." - Me
"Yeah, I was over at my friend's house...and he doesn't think lotion is cool. So I'm all...dry." - Athlete
"Haha...okay." - Me

Power play

*My student and I stumbled across an article saying how cats use purring to manipulate people, and ever since this conversation occurs daily*
"*Purring sound*" - Student
"Quit trying to control me!" - Me

Never shave again

"Want to sit down?" - Me
"Nah, I'm good." - Student
*2 minutes later*
"I knew you would eventually." - Me
"What can I say, I'm lazy." - Student
" So you couldn't be a hobbit?" - Me
"No. Too tall." - Student
"But you're too short to be an elf." - Me
"You hit the jackpot." - Student
"You'd make a good dwarf." - Me
"Yeah?" - Student
"Yeah. All we'd have to do is put a beard on you and you'd be the prettiest dwarf maiden in the land." - Me
"I'd be OK with that." - Student

Working hard for the money

"Oh, crap. We forgot cups." - Me
"Ugh. Yeah, we 'forgot' cups." - Student AT
"Would you please get me some water too?" - Me
"Fiiine." - Student
"There's a special place in heaven waiting for you!" - Me
"There'd better be!" - Student

On a scale of...

*While AT student K doodles a picture of Harry Potter*
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how bored is K?" - K
"9 3/4." - Me

Survival Skills

"Do you know where S is?" - Athlete 1
"I have no idea." - Me
"If she's not in the athletic training room, she's probably dead." - Athlete 2

Fairy Dust Not Included

"Do you know where the track team is?" - Athlete
"Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning." - Me

Multi-use

*while massaging athlete's calf between periods*
"Owwwwww! #$&*%#&% Wow...this mouthguard is really nice. Great for biting down on." - Athlete
"Better than a strip of leather?" - Me

Same thing

"S! Come watch this!" - Me, calling to athlete in hall
"What am I looking at?" - S
"Jumping cows!" - Me, pointing at video
"Is this what you called me in for?" - S
"Yes." - Me
"Okay, I have to go now. And cows can't jump." - S
"No, that's White Men!" - Me

Grace

*athlete almost falls back on swiss ball into wall*
*I look at her*
"Nothing."

When they think no one's listening

*Overheard in harmony from the boys locker room*

"EEEEEEVERY ROOOOOOOSE HAS ITS THOOOOORN!

JUST LIKE EEEEEEVERY NIIIGHT HAS ITS DAAWWN!"