Shopping

"The woman walking behind me at Walgreen's probably thought I was crazy. I was walking down the food aisle and I saw beef jerky, turkey jerky, and then I said out loud to myself 'Baple Macon Jerky' and she looked at me really funny. - J, holding a giant bag of maple bacon jerky

Lifting Weights

"My mom accused me of being on steroids again last night. I don't know why." - J
"J, you're huge." - Me
"I'm just really good at building muscle!" - J

Optimism

"I'm a cankle model." (He then turned and posed with his toe pointed daintily)

Twins

"Should I wear my socks like he has them?" - Kid, who points to his (twin) brother
"Yes. Then you can be twins!" - Me
*awkward pause*
"Bahahahaha!" - Me

Aging Part II

"Wait, how much older than me are you?" - One of my students
"We established this. I'm just shy of ten years older than you." - Me
"Wait...Shrek came out when you were in high school?! I'M OLD! Shrek came out ten years ago!" - Student
"Oh my god." - Me